Loneliness: Part Two

After writing my first post about loneliness, I realized that there were a few things I wasn’t able to touch on. So, keep going with me on this one.

Here’s the scenario: You just graduated from college. You’ve moved to the big city to kick ass, take names and follow your dreams. This was what kept you going through finals and senioritis. Life is happening. Right. Now. This is how it works. You’re not allowed to feel lonely or isolated, right?

Boo! Wrong!

When I moved away from home, I didn’t know a soul. New city, new people, and a new chapter in my life. It was all supposed to be fun and exciting! It was… for the first week or two. But after a while, all I really wanted was a hug from my Dad and my favorite food from Mom. It seemed so juvenile to me at the time and it was certainly part of growing up. But I think homesickness and being away from the people and places you love can be very isolating. It’s still a feeling, but those situations when we are separated from familiarity are certainly instances that lead us to feel oh so alone.

Tangent: I remember watching Bridget Jones Diary and that part when she’s on the couch belting out “All By Myself”, I just kept thinking, “That’s me. That’s so, so me!” (See picture above)

So, what’s the fix here? When you are actually alone, don’t have many friends yet, and just want to go home. Well, here are my thoughts.

1. Home – As Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros said, “Home is wherever I’m with you.” Obviously, the people you love aren’t with you or you wouldn’t be homesick. BUT, try bringing home to you. Try whipping up some of your Dad’s crepes, watch your Mom’s favorite movie or put on that t-shirt you stole from your sister. For me at least, things like that bring a smile to my face and a warm feeling in my guts that no matter where I am, those crazy people are still loving me.

2. Stay busy – If you’re sitting in your room thinking about how alone you are, chances are, you’re just going to keep feeling… alone. Take it from James Brown and, “Get up offa that thing!”. Go for a walk in your new surroundings. Find local spots that you’ll love to show your family when they visit. Take a pilates class! Meet people! Go to church! Interact with humans and who knows, you might even make an awesome friend or two!

That’s all I’ve got on this one. I’m off to that pilates class…


Be A Light In The Darkness

The world can be a dark place. Whether it is dealing with loss, pain, or anything of the sort, we’ve all dealt with this sometimes-dark world.

Unfortunately, dealing with the dark world can become a reality when we enter the workforce. Depending on what route we take in our career paths, some of us may have more of a challenging time than others. If we decide to take the corporate route, we may be faced with situations that could potentially result in compromising our values, our principles, the very beliefs we stand for. The reality? No matter where we end up, we will deal with conflict, disagreement, and tension in the workplace at one time or another. Why? It’s simple. We’re human. In dealing with any situation, we all bring our opinions and perspectives that have been formed by our own experiences to the table.

Starting a new job can be exhausting. People in the workplace can get frustrated easily being under the stress of meeting deadlines. People get impatient. People can be cruel. Be a light. Smile often. Say ‘good morning.’ Ask how a co-worker’s day is going. Offer to grab lunch for a co-worker. When someone becomes frustrated and begins to vent to you about a co-worker, put a positive spin on it; help them to see the other side. Bring people up instead of tearing them down. Help to promote a healthy, positive workplace instead of fostering one of jealousy and impatience.

Of course, it’s easier said than done! If we keep this at the forefront of our minds, however when we enter a new working environment, we are more likely to remember to be the example we want to be.


8 Steps to Sassy Nails

So, listen. I’m not one of those people that is great at doing people’s nails. Ya know, I’m not even very good at doing my own nails. Whenever I find $20 in the laundry, I’ll march on down to the “Itty Bitty Pretty Nail Salon” and get my nails did. It’s just one of those things that makes you feel pretty. When I walk out of that place with heels as soft as a baby’s butt I wonder how I ever wore sandals before!

Unfortunately I do not have the time, nor the funds to get my nails done every other week. And what the heck did ladies do before every strip mall had one of those nail places?

Do not fear! I may have found something to keep my nails looking bougie without visiting the nail salon.

Here is a “vintage manicure”. It’s excerpted an old magazine editorial:

1. File nails into an almond, oval or long-tapered shape
2. Soak fingers in warm water
3. Push back cuticles and massage in cuticle oil
4. Remove excess oil with varnish remover
5. Paint on one coat of hardener (clear polish)
6. Once it dries, add French strips to the moons and tips of the nail
7. Paint two coats of your chosen color and add a topcoat of hardener for longevity
8. Dry completely and remove the strips

So, there you have it. Your grandma’s manicure! Go! Be beautiful!


Laugh It Off

Let’s set the scene, shall we?

Jim Braddock has beaten the odds. He has proved his critics wrong. He is about to take on a boxer notorious for his deathly moves. Jim and his picture-perfect wife, Mae are having a night on the town when they run into his competitor, Max Baer. As the couple was leaving, Max sets Mae off with a less than tactful comment resulting in Mae dousing his face with a martini. Jack begins to follow his livid wife who is now storming off when Max says:

“See that boys, now he’s got his wife doin’ his fightin’ for him.”

The restaurant sits in a deadly silence anticipating Jack’s reaction. Jack stares blankly. Responds.

“Yea, ain’t she somethin’?”

Laughter erupts. He unintentionally wins the crowd.

The movie is Cinderella Man. Aside from Crowe’s stellar performance and Rene Zellwegar’s humble charm, I’d recommend the movie simply to study the character of Jim Braddock. He is an endearing, courageous, man who [quite literally] fights for his family; and anybody can learn from his example. Let’s focus, however, on his ability to laugh at himself.

Jim Braddock was a renowned boxer who nearly lost everything when the Great Depression hit. He has worldly experience that has equipped him to be able to roll with the punches. Laughing at himself falls under this umbrella.

Why does it matter?

1. When we laugh at ourselves, we become more relatable. In a situation where we’re taught to perpetually have our game faces on, laughing at ourselves makes us human in our coworkers’ eyes.

2.It shows we’re confident, down to earth, and are able to let certain things go. We’re simply likeable and charming.

These are qualities employers are eager to see in potential employees.