When Sharing Isn’t Caring

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.” – George Washington

Three dates down and two more planned for next week. You’ve found a great date and any day now he’s going to introduce you as, “my girlfriend”. Butterflies! He makes you laugh, he’s sweet to his Mom, and he’s just so easy to talk to!  You want to tell him everything that’s ever happened in your life and you want him to tell you the same.

So, you do! You tell him things that you’ve never told anyone. Things that are painful, intimate, and personal. The events and moments that made you the person you are today. Details that you would be embarrassed to tell anyone else, but this guy, he just gets you. It’s a little scary, but with every new detail he learns about you, the more you know that he’s perfect… so the more you tell him.

Sharing details about your life with someone who truly wants to listen can be an incredible and life changing experience. For women, connecting and talking with our significant other, and them responding and sharing with us, is one of the biggest ways that we feel loved and emotionally bonded to them. Knowing that someone cares about what you have to say and them feeling secure within the relationship to confide in you – that’s the stuff that lasting relationships are built on.

But when should you start all of the sharing? If you spill your guts to someone on the second date, then three days later they dump you, it’s pretty safe to say that that break up will hit you much harder than if you hadn’t opened up so soon and so much. You shared part of yourself with them? How could they not care after that?

When I first started dating, my Mom showed me the quote, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Good thing to keep in mind. But, how can you start to develop a relationship with someone if you are constantly on guard?

I think the first thing to admit is that if you want to have a relationship with anyone, romantic or not, it’s going to involve some level of vulnerability and with that comes the chance the you will get your heart broken. If you’re supposed to get married, you’re going to get your heart beat-up at least a couple times along the way the way to “happy ever after”. I’ve been guilty of blurring that line between sharing and oversharing a time or two and experienced the heartbreak that goes with it. But in my experience, the heart breaks made finding love that really is forever that much better.

To close this post out I just want to say that if you are in the sharing and learning stage of a relationship – fantastic! Enjoy the incredible experience of connecting with another human being. But, don’t forgot about the future. Think about what you are sharing and giving away in those moments of connection. And, if you are experiencing the heartbreak part of loving someone, it’s okay that you are crazy sad. Cry. Let it out. Know that because you are experiencing the feeling of being unloved and rejected, you are becoming a person who is more capable of true compassion and love.


3 Ways To Wear A Black Blazer

Like a little black dress, I have a little black blazer. (It’s not THAT little, but I’m trying to be poetic.) It’s one of those wardrobe staples that, I’d argue, every woman should have whether she’s a working woman or a homemaker. It’s versatile, neutral, and gives a touch of refinement to any outfit. Here are a few ways I like to wear my little black blazer:

The blazer to the right can be found here. AND All of the pieces in these looks are under $50. Mhhm. That’s right.

1. Dress It Down – If you go with a black blazer, get funky with a pair of colored skinnies! Throw on a fun patterned shirt underneath and your comfiest pair of gladiators. Funky, fresh and totally date appropriate.


 2. Can You Say Job Interview? – Blazers can be a great staple in a working lady’s wardrobe. Instead of a Hillary Clinton pantsuit, try pairing your blazer with a pencil skirt and some simple but personal accessories.


3. A Little Girly – I’m not totally a dress kinda girl. BUT, I do have a few super comfy floral dresses that I’m always trying to find ways to add some edge to. The floral is feminine, fun and maybe a little flirty. That black blazer will add just the right amount of edge and structure.

These are just a few ideas. Instagram or Tweet a picture of your best blazer get up. Hashtag #BBBBlazer.


Stay Thankful

At the start of November through Thanksgiving Day, the Levo League hosted a blog series entitled Giving Gratitude where Gen Y men and women shared what they were thankful for.

This was incredibly refreshing to come by. Giving thanks and recognizing all we have to be grateful for shouldn’t be a one-day celebration; it should last all year. Sure, Thanksgiving has its place, but how many of us recognize what we are thankful for besides when asked at Thanksgiving dinner?

I’m as guilty as the next person when it comes to this. In today’s world it’s easy to live our lives forgetting to recognize our daily blessings. Recently completing an undergraduate education, I’m especially thankful for the gift of higher education and the resources we have here to pursue it. I’m thankful for the experiences – good and bad – during those 3 years as they have shaped me into my post-grad self. I’m thankful for my college professors and friends who have equally helped me to grow.

At the bottom of one of the Giving Gratitude entries is the following quote: “Take the time to recognize who or what deserves your thanks each day.”

Who or what deserves your thanks?


4 Perfect Pairs of Flats

I am short. I didn’t hit 5 feet tall until my eighteenth birthday (True story). Although I am a member of the petite band of ladies, I have never been one of those small people who is constantly wearing massive heals to gain an extra inch or two. Just not how I roll. Also, I like when my feet don’t hate me at the end of the day. Shout out though, to those short, sassy ladies who can rock a three inch heel on a daily basis. I applaud you. But I will not join you.

Since I am not of the heel wearing persuasion, I have come to love, collect and appreciate a great pair of flats. I literally wear flats 90% of the week. And, because I am a collector, trust me, I have a pair for every outfit.

Here are a few things I look for when in the market for a pair of those dainty non-heeled shoes:

1. Price – Obviously. I’ll be the first one to admit that those gigantic bins of mass produced, multi-colored plastic flats at Forever 21 are tempting. I have given into that ten dollar temptation more times than I’d care to admit. But, if you want a great pair of flats that are going to last more than one season, you’re going to need to up your budget a little.

Not anything crazy, I’m talking $30 minimum. Now, if you really want to invest, there are flats around $60 to $100 dollars that, I hear, are far more comfortable and durable. I have a pair of cream colored Steve Madden’s that retail at $60 but I got them at TJ Maxx for $20. That’s. How I. Roll.

2. Practicality – When you’re trying a pair of flats on, ask yourself if you can see yourself wearing them everyday. Would they go with anything or just that one top you bought yesterday? If the answer is the second, walk away. I’m serious. Obviously this does force you to stick with neutral colors, but that’s not to say a great pop color flat won’t work with just as many outfits. (I have an awesome pair of bright red flats that are great with everything from my little black dress to dark wash jeans.)

3. Comfort – When you’re trying a potential pair on, if your first reaction is “Oh! These are so comfortable!” You’re golden. If your reaction is “Oh. They’re a little tight. But they’re SO cute!” Walk away. I’m serious.

Below are a few gems I’ve come across recently. Happy flat hunting!

Chicnova – $35


Forever 21- $17


Forever 21 – $25

Modcloth – $33