Chivalry Is Dead And We Have Killed It

It seems like everytime I get on Facebook there is meme after meme talking about how all guys are jerks and chivalry is dead. They may be a little dramatic, but I would agree that there is truth to the idea.

It used to be that every man, starting when he was old enough to do so, held the door for a lady (Yes, “lady”. You reap what you sow, right?). Chairs were pulled out and jackets were put around the shoulders of a lass right and left. Now if your date does anything that can be construed as chivalry, you’re ready to elope before dessert.

I’m no expert when it comes to those days gone by but I think most ladies have first hand experience on both sides of the chivalrous coin.

So what happened?

I won’t get into that crazy psychology jargon. But I will say that maybe all is not lost. Maybe the remnants of gentlemanliness still remain. Many will attest to the fact that he is a rare breed of gentleman but when you find him, you’ll discover he was well worth the wait. (But that’s a tangent).

But back to those gentlemanly remnants. Of course, a man should open the car door for his date and he better have asked her Dad for permission (See He Should Ask Your Dad First).  But we don’t live in a world of soda fountains, petticoats and Lucky Strikes. We’ve got Facebook, iPhones and 3D movies. So maybe the chivalry that goes into this tech high world is a little bit different. Maybe it’s opening doors and a good morning text message. Just a thought. Do you think we need to bring back chivalry?


Introducing: Women You’ve Never Heard Of

Let’s talk about great women. Women who did incredible things, who broke barriers, who looked stunning doing it. The Joan of Arcs, the Gertrude Ederles, women like Margaret Thatcher and Rosa Parks. These icons have inspired generations of young women to never give up, to stand for something, and to do great things.

But we aren’t all supposed to courageously defend the Falkland Islands, swim the English channel (Who’d want to do that?), or liberate our country from English domination. If every women was called to do that, a lot of incredibly valuable things would never get done. We won’t all be burned at the stake before age twenty, but what young woman doesn’t need to be courageous moving away from home, starting her first job, or having her first child? Maybe I’m going out on a limb here, but just because those actions aren’t written in the history books, doesn’t mean that they are any less valuable.

The women who do make it into the history books were given incredible opportunities to use their gifts and talents, but just because our circumstances are less glamorous doesn’t mean we should live our lives with less fortitude, love, and perseverance.

Every moment we are given is a gift, right? Shouldn’t the things we do in those moments be done with purpose and conviction regardless of the task?

The incredible Mother Teresa said, “We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” Yeah, she won a Nobel Prize, but, before that, she was just a little nun from a tiny town in Albania. And she did small things with great love.

So, let’s get the discussion started. We are dedicating this column to women who have done incredible things. Maybe you’ve never heard of them, maybe you have. Maybe you’d like to tell us about a woman you know who is doing incredible things with humility, love, and generosity and expecting nothing in return. Here it is. The column of Women You’ve Never Heard Of.


How to get luscious hair

How to get luscious hair?  The question I’m always asking as I have thin hair. It can hold a curl alright but for the most part it’s just sad, mousy brown hair. It also damages pretty quickly. So, I went on the hunt for nourishing hair masks that would give my deflated mane some extra shine and luster.

Here are some homemade hair masks that will give you that luscious hair with things you’ve got in your kitchen.

If you’ve got extra long tresses, I’d recommend doubling these recipes.

Avocado Deep Conditioner
You’ll need:
1 small jar of mayonnaise
1/2 avocado.

Mix all ingredients, smooth into head being careful to work it to the ends,  Use shower cap or plastic wrap to seal body heat in and leave on for 20 minutes.

Banana Avacado Mask
You’ll need:
1 medium banana
1 egg
1/2 avocado
2 Tbsp honey
3 Tbsp buttermilk
3 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

Mash banana, egg and avocado in a small bowl. Add remaining ingredients and stir until well combined. Apply to hair from roots to tips. Leave in for 30 minutes and then wash out with a moisturizing shampoo.

Got Split Ends?
You’ll need:
2 Tbsp honey
1 Tbsp almond oil (I didn’t have almond oil. BUT, olive oil worked just as well!)
1 Tbsp apple cider vinegar

Mix these together and slowly work the mixture into your hair. Focus on the ends and go up until you’ve covered all the damaged bits. Let it sit there over the next half an hour (or more) then rinse off. The mask alone won’t help you get rid of splits (you should visit your stylist and get a trim) but it will dramatically improve the appearance of the rest of your hair as well as all parts that used to look like they should be chopped off but had enough life in them to be restored.

This is the first one I tried. I went around my office the next day telling everyone to touch my hair. So. Effing. Soft.

Strawberry Mask
You’ll need:
A couple fresh strawberries
1 egg yoke
2 spoonfuls of olive oil

Mash or blend your strawberries, mix in the last two ingredients and apply to your soon-to-be luscious hair. Leave it in and rinse off after 20 to 30 minutes.
*Unlike mayonnaise and avocados, this one makes your hair smell as good as it’ll feel!



How to get stunning skin

There is certainly something to be said for genetics when it comes to having stunning skin. Some ladies have great skin naturally, while others can eat an entire bag of Dove chocolates without gaining an ounce. As my Mother always says, “We are all born with our gifts and our gaps.” Maybe she’s born with it? I think those Maybelline people were on to something.

But the good news is that genes are only the starting point! Beautiful skin also comes from good skin care habits and eating all that bright colored stuff your elders told ya to.

How to get stunning skin?

1. SUNSCREEN! – I’m serious. Trust me, I know it’s not “cool” to be “that girl” who lathers up in spf seventy instead of  tanning oil. (See An Aside About Sunscreen) Sure, it looks great to be the tan one in a summer dress… when you’re twenty-two. But who’s going to be laughing when you’re sixty-five with skin that looks like beat leather? Exactly. That’s what I’m banking on anyway. Who’s with me?

2. Keep it simple – Okay. Raise your hand if you woke up one morning, had the worst break out of your life, then proceeded straight to your local CVS to buy every acne treatment known to man. You’ve got to nuke these things. No spot treatment would go unpurchased!

Preach! I’ve been there. More times than I’d like to count, actually. It turns out that bombarding your face with a plethora of breakout remedies isn’t the best idea. You’re just irritating your already ****ed off pores and those products can sometimes cancel each other out.  The best regimen I’ve found  for stunning skin is simple. A good cleanser, moisturizer and sunscreen. That’s it! Plus, I don’t know about you but the simpler it is, the easier it is to stick with it.

3. Let It Be – Back to the breakout from hell. I am not the most patient person. If I buy an acne spot treatment, I’m gonna need that zit to go back from whence it came as soon as those crazy chemicals hit my skin. Apparently that’s not how it works. You have to give these things time to work. A rule I try to stick by is to use the entire tube before I write something off as ineffective. But if it makes your skin itchy, red, or inflamed drop it like it’s hot.

4. Balance, Baby – I’d like to believe there is a healthy medium between spinach smoothies and Cinnabon for breakfast. Eat good stuff. I try to have one or two fruits and/ or veggies with each meal. Doesn’t happen everytime but if I try and stick to that I usually feel better and am less prone to sporadic zit colonies on my face. Also, try sleeping. Many of my breakouts come from sleep deprivation and stress.  A recipe for stunning skin must consist of sleep.  I try to hold myself to seven hours per night. My boo also appreciates when I’m well rested. No one likes a ****y date.

5. Change That Case – If you are having a breakout, change your pillowcase and wash cloths. Rid your face of those germs!

If you are interested, here is what I use:
Cleanser: Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Stress Control Power Gel Cleanser
Moisturizer: Neutrogena Oil Free Moisture – Sensitive Skin
Sunscreen: Lappert Replenishing Sunblock – SPF 36 (Cucumber based. Smells delicious. Not all gross and greasy)
Spot Treatment: Lappert Acne Spot Treatment

Here’s is a DIY acne spot treatment that works wonders if you want to get rid of redness and swelling with those painful buggers.
You’ll Need:
One uncoated aspirin
A few drops of water
Mash up the wet aspirin and apply to the problem areas.

A note about those last two products – You’re probably thinking. “Wow what a jerk! Shamelessly promoting her Dad’s products! Gross.” Totally understand your thinking. I’d be right there with you. BUT, with that said, I’ve already been put through college so if you buy it, none of the proceeds would be benefitting yours truly in any way. Just sharing what I use. But it really is the best.