Drink Like A Lady

It’s Wednesday night and I’m out with some friends for our monthly double date at “Caffe Roma” in Beverly Hills. Normally, we’d hit a more local (and price-friendly) watering hole like “The Pig ‘N Whistle,” but this has become tradition to meet up with the bartender at this particular place.

I’m in the mood for something light, but not the cucumber and vodka Mixologist Maggie had made for my roommate. Maggie nods, flicks me a mischievous smile, and says, “I’ll be back.”  Three minutes later she returns with a tall glass topped with mint leaves. I gratefully sip in the deliciously refreshing sweet liquid.

Twenty minutes later I’m on the floor, rolling around and foaming at the mouth. My boyfriend is yelling out emergency procedures, my roommate is shrilly crying, and our other friends are trying to hold me still.

Gotcha! All but that last part is true, thank goodness. What really transpired was a lovely evening with a live band, great conversation, and amazing creative drinks… definitely not the nightmare above. But, nightmares can happen when a little competition and a lot of curiosity shack up together. As a lightweight turned medium weight thanks to a beer-loving beau, here are some pointers for “having a good time” while retaining your feminine grace.

1) Drink a Lot of Water. I can’t stress this enough. This is a great practice in general (for better skin, more energy, and cleaner “insides”) but especially if you’re planning a celebratory event. Pay attention to your body throughout drinking too; if your mouth is feeling dry and you aren’t aware of your drink flavor after awhile, have some water. Also chug a large glass of water before bed for the ultimate hangover prevention (it prevents dehydration and helps the liver process all that alcohol while you sleep).

2) Don’t Drink on an Empty Stomach. This was probably drilled in your high school health class, but to reiterate, you will enjoy yourself much more when filled with food before sipping your Gatsby-inspired concoctions. Think protein, fiber, and nutrients more than filling carbs.

3) Stick to Your Grains. Mixing beer and hard liquors can be difficult for your body to digest, but if you must mix, follow this rule: “Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer, all in the clear.” With beers, you typically want to start light and move towards the darker porters and stouts, especially if you’re planning on eating.

4) Go Slow and Steady. I can’t stress this enough. If you want to avoid worshipping the porcelain god, match your consumption tempo to your digestion tempo. Depending on the day, it could take 15-30 minutes for you to feel your first drink, but you might be sipping on your second already. Take a chill-pill and enjoy the conversation for awhile. Your drink fixin’s will still be there in 20 minutes…unless of course we have the apocalypse in which case you might consider leaving the bar entirely.

 **Remember: Ladies drink responsibly! Have fun!**