In the vein of “Date a Boy Who Travels” and “Date a Girl Who Reads,” I propose a new kind of gal: one who says no. She’s not a selfish witch who demands her own way, but one who recognizes her weaknesses, and honors her responsibilities.
You should date a girl who says no. Date a girl who doesn’t spend her money on cocktails when she’s short on rent, who doesn’t have a problem leaving a party because she has work early the next morning.
Date a girl who says no to drugs and drunkenness because she values her health and wants to live the fullness of life till a ripe old age. She’ll have a mental list of shortcomings that she’s trying to fix, but she doesn’t lose hope.
Find a girl who says no. You’ll know her because she’ll do it with grace, never making excuses but confident in her own real reasons. You’ll see the girl think logically about her decision then make a swift utterance with a sweet smile. She’ll always say “Thank you, though!” and mean it.
She’s the girl who is quiet when other people are asking her to do them a favor. She lets them speak but knows her other plans and says no to being overcommitted. She knows that her prior responsibilities will take all her concentration.
The girl who says no will be deliberate about whom she invites, when, and where. She will want to make people around her comfortable by holding an honest standard. You know that when she says yes she really means it because she’s not afraid to say no, and she’ll keep her word.
Don’t try to change her mind.
Let her know that you support her prudence. She knows if she wants to go out another time. Understand that if she says no it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care about you. Ask her if there’s anything you can do to help.
It’s easy to date a girl who says no. Give her your time and she will be eternally grateful. Recognize that it’s hard to be so disciplined when a lot of people aren’t, and kiss her forehead for being so strong. Give her the gift of affirmation. Let her know that you understand that she values her resources.
Don’t be afraid to say no back. She needs this reminder that just because her life is ordered and put together doesn’t mean she can control everything. Because girls who say no also give a lot more than most people, and they need help reprioritizing when their allotted energies and portioned virtues need some stirring up to remember that life is about love, not efficiency.
Why be frightened of a girl who says no? She is going to say what she means, and mean what she says. If you find a girl who says no, keep her close. You know that she won’t be flustered by the kids with tantrums, tempted by the newest trend, or driven mad by undeserved gossip. It’s hard work to save the world, but even harder to know that sometimes it needs to save itself.