5 Inventions That Haven’t Been Made Yet, And How We Make Do

In a day and age in which technology reigns, efficiency is a top priority and creative juices run ramped, there are still some inventions awaiting birth. Here are a few conveniences that have yet to be invented, and the ways we admirably cope in their absence.

  • Bottomless Carpet Bags: We’ve all seen Mary Poppins, or have at least been exposed to the idea of a woman’s handbag that can fit an infinite amount of trinkets as well as larger items such as a bust mirror and floor lamp. Magicians feign bottomless top hats with rabbits, but the bougie gal gets by without the extraordinary convenience of magic with Hobo handbags that seem to graciously swallow lip gloss, receipts, snack bags of almonds, small animals…you name it, it fits!

CarpetBag

  • Adjustable Slips: Call me old fashioned, or just neurotic, but one of my irrational fears is being caught in the gorgeous southern California sunlight wearing a sweet sundress that shows the entire silhouette of my not-so-toned thighs. Thus, I typically wear slips with skirts and dresses, which also serve to cut down on the tights and legging static. I have both white and black slips for respective fabric colors, but always seem to have trouble matching the lengths. Either my belly-button must be swallowed so no lace sneaks below my dress hem, or my hips must constantly try to shimmy the slip low enough to be effective. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hemmed and re-hemmed and safety-pinned slips according to the type of dress/skirt. Would that we had slips with the easy adjustability of Roman shades!

  • Personal Assistants at FedEx/ Kinkos: It is no great secret that office supply stores are chronically understaffed. I always have to plan a good hour plot of time if I need to make a stop for a printing or when bringing in a project. Waiting in line, machine malfunctions, and the inevitable fax or phone call that the associate picks up is enough to warrant madness. Why can’t these marvelous office companies offer adequate staffing? The answer remains a mystery to this Broke But Bougie gal. In the meantime, going at off-hours (early morning or late at night) helps eliminate the long lines, especially at the rare 24-hr stores.

  • Soundproof Bathroom Stalls: This may be a little “TMI” and not so chic, but I am the first to admit I get “shy” when using public restrooms. Though it may not be very lady-like to speak of habits in the loo, I must protest that urinating and defecating are private matters and any bodily noises accompanying these situations have the right to remain in silence. I won’t press this point any further, only congratulate those people who haven’t a self-conscious care about this very necessary action of life, strategically unrolling the toilet paper loudly nor flushing unnecessarily to mask the sounds of relief.

  • Parking Sensors for Red Curbs: Cars are well-acquainted with parking sensors for backing up so as not to hit another vehicle or stationary object. However, I have yet to see a camera device designed specifically for red-curb allotment. In the meantime we park, get out to check, inch back, check again, and eventually decide that our good intention to maximize curb space for future drivers isn’t worth the workout. We need something to help us gauge our overlap and restore the driver’s charity!