Like A Sailboat

Last weekend, my girlfriends and I had our monthly articles club. We talked about relationships, hurts, triumphs, illness, dreams, and our current realities. It was raw. It was beautiful.

It was one of those nights that stayed with me. I’ve been thinking about what was said by me and others for several days and it got me thinking about one of my favorite songs.

Sailboat by Ben Rector

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I feel just like a sailboat

I don’t know where I’m headed

But you can’t make the wind blow

From a sailboat

Life after college can be difficult. Finding your place in the world away from the structure of home and school is a constant battle between what you thought you wanted to do and your changing goals.

I have seen the sun

Felt the rain on my skin

I’ve been lost and found

But mostly I’ve been waiting

In school it felt like after graduation we’d be these accomplished adults prepared to execute the lives we’d planned for ourselves with our childhood friends right next to us.

Oh I’m out in the waves

I’m hoping and praying

Please let this wind blow me home

Night after night there’s an empty horizon

And my God do I feel so alone

Sometimes life, most times I, feel just like a sailboat

But it’s not like that at all. Life is messy. Plans fail. Plans change. People change. Those you thought would carry you through anything aren’t there anymore. That’s okay. It’s just not what you planned. Feeling alone is scary. Feeling lost is worse. There are moments when the only thing left to do is close your eyes, say a prayer, and wait for the storm to pass.

I’m pretty sure I’m heard

At least I know I’m speaking

But I feel like a fool

Cause I can’t hear you listening

Sometimes it seems like those prayers are going unanswered. You pray and you plead. You work and you wait. Still nothing.

But I’m not giving up

Oh I will move on forward

I’m gonna raise my sail

God knows what I’m headed towards

Then you take a breath. You see that what you planned doesn’t even come close to how beautiful your life is now. You realize, you don’t have to know where you’re headed. Or who will be there for the journey. He does. And that’s more than enough.

Oh I’m out in the waves

I’m hoping and praying

Please let this wind blow me home

Night after night there’s an empty horizon

And my God do I feel so alone

Sometimes life, and most times I, feel just like a sailboat

The only change I see

Lost or found, let’s see

The only difference is believing I’ll make it in

Oh I’m out in the waves

I’m hoping and praying

Please let this wind blow me home

Night after night there’s an empty horizon

My God, do I feel so alone

Sometimes life, most times I, feel just like a sailboat

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Photo credit: Chely Ruvalcaba